When we receive a notification on our device, our fight-or-flight response is activated. This constant attentional switching causes a chronic increase in cortisol , the stress hormone, as evidenced by studies on the cost of context switching ( switch cost ) in multitasking. In the long run, this constant state of alert leads to insomnia, visual fatigue, and the development of muscle tension (phenomena widely documented by digital ergonomics).

Cognitive Level

Our brain is forced to constantly switch contexts. As research on cognitive load highlights, this “multitasking” erodes our ability to maintain deep attention, which is essential for achieving an efficient and sustained state of flow.

Emotional Level

On an emotional level, our self-esteem becomes intimately tied to our availability, often fueling FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and the deep-seated belief: “If I don’t respond right away, I’m not useful or important.” This belief can lead us to feel constantly pressured and to underestimate our value, detaching ourselves from our true needs and desires. The practice of mindfulness is the ideal tool to counteract this reactivity, bringing our attention back to the present moment and our internal needs, rather than to the constant external demand for availability.

In short, our constant exposure to reactive technology not only harms our bodies, but also depletes our minds and ultimately affects our self-esteem. Understanding these dynamics is the first step toward healthier management of our digital well-being.

Digital Wellness Coaching: Practical Exercises

We don’t need a techfix (like disabling apps), but a mindsetfix .

This is where Digital Wellness Coaching comes in, guiding us towards a healthy and conscious management of technology in 3 phases:

1. Awareness

Debugging the Habit

Use a digital journal to track reactive and intentional use, noting the emotion you felt before reaching for your phone.
Exercise: The 3-second pause. Before unlocking your phone, stop and ask yourself, ” What is the specific intention behind picking up this device?” If there’s no clear intention, put it away.
Guiding reflection : “When we pick up our phone, what are we really looking for? Information or an escape?”

2. Boundary

Install the personal firewall

Adopt practices such as intentional time boxing , scheduling disconnect times (e.g., red zone from 8:00 PM).
Exercise: The disconnection contract . We designate an area of the house (e.g. , the bedroom) as a “No-Phone Zone” and strictly adhere to this boundary for two weeks.
The rule of non-urgency is crucial: 99% of what seems urgent is simply someone else’s priority.

3. Reconnection

Updating the body-mind system

Introduce 30-second mindful micro-breaks (e.g., stretching or brief mindfulness and deep breathing practices) and rediscover analog hobbies. The goal is to ground the mind in the non-digital present.
Exercise: Analog awakening . Don’t touch digital devices (phone, tablet, TV) for at least an hour after waking up. Use that time for breakfast, reading , or mindfulness meditation .
The goal is to separate who we are from our role: we are not a server, but a human being

The Impact of Coaching: From Theory to Transformation

The value of Digital Wellness Coaching lies in its ability to transform awareness into sustainable action. It doesn’t just provide generic advice ( “use your phone less” ) but offers:

Partnership : The Coach acts as an “accountability partner,” helping us stay true to the boundaries we’ve set for ourselves.
Personalization: The Coach’s strategies are adapted not only to the use of technology, but also to our specific lifestyle, work, and emotional values.
Overcoming blocks: with the Coach we identify and dismantle deep-seated beliefs (such as “I have to respond immediately” ) that fuel the cycle of digital stress

The idea of the Community

The need to address this issue gave rise to the RHC Cyber Angels community, a group that explores the human side of digital challenges, with digital wellbeing as its central objective. Digital wellbeing isn’t a temporary diet, but an operational philosophy.

It means stopping thinking of ourselves as an infinite resource and starting to recognize ourselves as a limited and precious resource.

If you’re a woman interested in digital wellbeing and cybersecurity in general, write to [email protected] to apply to join the RHC Cyber Angels group.

Reaction Mode vs. Intention Mode: The Roadmap to Autonomy

When we are in reaction mode , we give our power to the outside world, responding passively.

In intentional mode , however, we exercise our internal power, actively choosing how to spend our time and energy.

Which of the two modalities do we choose to train from today?

What’s the first non-digital thing we’ll do next weekend to remind ourselves that our time is precious and limited?

Daniela Farina
Philosopher, psychologist, counsellor and AICP coach. A humanist by vocation, he works in cybersecurity by profession. He works as a risk analyst at FiberCop S.p.a.

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